Social Anxiety

Over the past couple of weeks, every other news channel at one time or the other would indeed cover the missing MH370. Every other social network is filled with echoes of many concerned souls (well, each proclaim to be socially concerned and highly humane) over loosing the plane and how it bothers to just even hear the news and how much each one comes out and says “I can really feel the pain they are going through, the government should not be such callous when it comes to safety of passengers. They should be more vigilant. My heart goes with each of the soul in that plane and I, with all my heart wish, that all of them are safe and sound where ever they are”.

Am from a city, the software hub of South Asia (Bangalore, India) and it really irritates me when people speak of non-sense. I can accept Bull Shit to an extent, but, this is peaks of nonsense! In the place I live in, people are such insensitive that they lack the basic common-sense to give side to an ambulance when it comes to driving. No matter how hard I try to think it through from the person who is not giving the way to the ambulance, I am still at loss for a plausible and logical explanation. Yeah, I know, he wishes to reach home early or reach office early as his 2 mins of time is more precious than the immediate medical treatment! He or she is such an important individual in the society that they need to be in that specific place by that time else the entire world would collapse (who knows they are averting a third world war).

I should say this too, people indeed turn blind eye when they see a mess on the road or some incident where a lending hand can make a difference yet they are socially active when it comes to social media and goes online and complains government is not doing anything.

One should be bold enough to accept the fact that, majority of the people who went online to know the answers are worried, if they are on the plane and such a thing happens what would be the outcome. All they care is reassurance, such an incident won’t happen. So, they come and ask you, search the ocean (as if the ocean is completely clean and just the only debris that lies in the ocean is this plane.)

I would feel more than happy if people post but before posting just think and speak truth! Come out of the idiocy and remove the mask and speak the truth! It really irks me when someone says a thing they don’t mean and they have an inner meaning. Majority of the souls that went online and posted are socially responsible (only online not offline).

They are indifferent when it comes to helping others in their reach yet they are terribly sorry when it comes to complete set of strangers! Doesn’t it sound weird? Come on guys, face it. Being selfish is fine but thinking others are fools is stupidity. Please refrain from posting in social media and starting debates in it unless one is determined enough to come out and take the responsibility and make a change!

If not, post the facts. Why show a sympathy when one feel none? That’s insane! One might come back and retaliate at me on this, but each of you knows am speaking the truth! Irony of fact is everyone wants to hear it but none has the stomach to digest it.

Am not saying what happened with the plane is acceptable, all am saying is, don’t get carried away by the general mob’s emotion. Won’t we all know this might be one of the outcomes when we board the plane? If every person who posts prayers are such serious world would have been clean by now! All am saying is, don’t fake it. It’s not required. No one cares whether I care about the missing list nor I care if you care about the plane. We can condemn as one but speaking nonsense really irks me.

Chance Encounter with Devil

In bewildering woods, hear beguiling outcry,
Hear wishpering words, so soothing, I tend to pry,
 Darkling encompass, perchance fear stopping me try,
  Now seems yore, see seething devil, beckoning doest not shy !

A Step forw’d, chills so seeps in, dearth anights,
Wherewith thine doth ally the fears, angry HIM lest,
 Reach yonside , mounts the siege opposite sights,
  Gaze up, eyne wide open, to see whereon HE heights!

Withal, O dear, I pronounce, lights up thy quest,
wherewithal thee widom or rule, whats thee bequest,
  when break bonds strongest and with ego chains arrest!
    Reason me out with reason, Quench my curiosity to fullest.

wherefore theeself impart so demonic thoughts ,
Thereaginst proclaimed knowledge one shouldst sought,
 Part ways One seeks and hindering us heavens to earth brought,
  Ain’t the reason of life, to spread the joy and spare thy neighbor from rot ?

Mirthless laughter echoes around woods in silence,
Rage balling all well withinside, filled with arrogance,
 Agasp, closes eyne deep shut, wishing for undisturbed balance,
  Pleading thy Lord, teary eyed, Doth shed light, share to HE some sense !

Alas! I feel daylight, behold breath, I see Lord THEE !
Gleaming as O shining sun, Aknee I pray heart and weep!
 Doth I deserve presence! eyne haltest blinking wishing more to see
   Hear HIM say, Devil is all within thee , its all thee and willst be thee.
     Heed doest the choices within, cleanse thou soul and be it forver so so free !

 

You makes me smile

The thought of you, slaps hard at my sanity,
drives me through the mazes of molten madness,
puts me through the euphoria of love,
curves the thin lips of mine to an arch of smile.

Splendid beauty of yours, makes me insane,
sadness slips to the abyss of perennial darkness,
can’t help but gaze in sheer astonishment,
and laugh gaily at the divine elegance!

Simple touch kindles a spark never known,
tingles me all over kneading me to beg for more,
this sensation of love, my dear love,
makes my day, knowing its you, I smile everyday!

Smile of yours, sends a warmth all over me,
unknown to me, my lips spread much wide,
in the realms of joy spread by our love,
I wander aimlessly, relenting the world behind!

Drowning in those wondrous dreams of us,
I swim in those hazy and crystal eyes of yours,
with life as the witness, you as my alibi,
I spend today, everyday, face things with happy face!

Insolence!

Poetical insolence, plays tricks with my subtle indolence,
with hazy eyes, I look at the vacant world in different view,
lost in the echoes of the shattered cosmos, I roam fervently,
never belonging to any physical self, I live and die frequently!

With my back to the sky, curves framing the invisible shapes,
I gaze nonchalantly, with pure vehemence on everything,
burning the entire world through my inflammable eyes,
I swallow hard the consuming cowardice in pure fear!

Pacifying deliverance play the game of hide and seek,
while the burning inner self, looks for weak link to dwell out,
subdued indifference, stares hard at my cowering stupidity,
calls for a chance, to look beyond the world filled with reason!

Painted face with masked smile speaks of the chastened life,
digs little deep and screams in joy to the ripples of the pain
the notion of ecstasy strikes hard at my skewed conscience,
begs me to accept the pain in a way to mollify the blinding rage!

Pragmatic perseverance flags at my persistent incompetence,
the lackadaisical me looks through the gates of salvation
and way beyond to shun away the perception of self and being
close my eyes in hopes of never recovering and waking up again!

Final moments!

Ruffling of the trousers to the wildest of the winds,
disturbing the perturbed silence that’s reigning me,
with naked back to sky, I stand riveted to the ground,
while thoughts of singularity swirling within me to see!

“What of beauty when looked thorough eyes of nigh,
where does it lie if not in hands of the designer?
could it be manifold, each for one pair of eyes?
what amplifies idea, it lies in the hands of beholder?”

“What of all words if they do not convey the emotion?
whom do they belong if not to the dull mind that forms?
would they weigh the same if seen from so far away?
what simplifies notion of speaking while words are treasure?”

“What of life if not oneway that can’t be traveled back?
what else it say rather its yours to screw the way you want
could it mean something else if seen any other day?
what complicates this notion of living rather accepting?”

Running thoughts taking toll, takes a step back beyond cliff,
the free fall clears the air, while the mind becomes chill,
numb heart waits for the moment eagerly just to stay still,
these final moments, I think of nothing but the beyond!

Pendulum

The blues of life flows with endless sands of time,

tired of being sorry, done being the martyr for it,

scared of being lonely, I sway to this eternal tune,

sing a song of my own making, with preferred ending!

 

Canvassing the poignancy of paradoxical thesis on living,

shuts off the sorry self that’s screaming for pity,

dwelling on depths of happiness, cornering it’s origins,

bury the sad me in the backyard of my sorry past!

 

Cajoling the wounded, painting the wondrous beauty,

coaxing it, to leave behind the piteous soul,

close the doors, to walk free in the lands of majesty,

strum the strings to devise a theme, melody of life!

 

Slow but steady, buried memories adrift the joy,

winds of euphoria tangled with wisps of melancholy,

wary the course of moment to traverse backwards,

I end up swinging wildly between yesterday and today.

Reflection

Seconds, minutes and hours hand meet for an instant,
like an unknown alarm that set to blow but in silence
I hear a voice in my idle mind that’s imagining life,
involuntarily I walk to far corner like an infant,
look at the image, facial features just the same as me,
except for scars that shows the truce made with pain.

Eyes not displaying emotion, just relaying inner emotion
stare at the real me, stating in muted words, “hear me,
loud and clear, for I am the real you, grasp the intangible
you did wound me, for I bear these scars, but am not broken
am the silent witness to your every act, eventually, will see,
living, if I should say, letting me out in open and living as me”

Love Vs Passion

It was a cold winter night, temperature has already fallen below the freezing point, and the weather forecasts are predicting it can go down further. How low, well, I for sure, that day, looked to the endless sky, screamed mutely asking for pity on me. Though I was seated in a nice, plush restaurant, richness, echoing all around, by the colourful lights and the golden hue, spreading the warmth, diminishing the dark, that’s consuming the streets, warmth from the conditioners, gently touching the blazer covered body, numbing cold by the mother nature is still got me.

All the while, I sat consumed and poised, wondering the notion of seasons, life, death, memories,
past, present, hurdles, struggle, survival so on so forth, cacophony of musky voice, slowly,
disturbed train of thoughts. Can’t help but pay attention to the voice, a male one, husky, though
poignant, crisp and vibrating with emotion, neither clearly saying loud nor whispering, seemed like, stating the suppressed facts that’s so long hidden, to no one but himself, yet one would easily
mistake, it as directed, to the woman, who was sitting next to him. One must accede the fact, she is perfect in every way, curvaceous, well, lust beat me there, being man, her ample bosom and tiny waist and slender thighs, tender arms and long neck, was all I noticed on my first sight. Later,
after paying attention , I see a small tear drop rolling down her cheek, which irked me, not sure
why, wanted to jump off the chair and punch this guy in the face for this sin. Sidelined the idea
and for reasons unknown, I paid attention to the voice again.

“Honey, well, when I first saw you, it was lust that has driven me to you, that deep desire to hold
you, all the time, till I can never breathe, lay next to you, and look into those wonderful dove
eyes, get lost in that beautiful world, hold your neck, kiss you passionately, till the moment, we
both run out of breath, carry you on my arms, so I can only bear you and I don’t have to share you, the idea, that sharing you with earth, makes me jealous. So to speak, I was overwhelmed by the emotion as such, several sleepless nights, I used to wonder, is this love? How long can I hold on to this thought? If I love you that much, why can’t I dream about you?. Time slipped by, as I let that emotion consume me, slowly but continuously, day by day, only you, the very you and the beauty of word we, ahh! well that word we, never sounded better to me till that point, helped me keep my sanity in one piece.

Well, time indeed has take her toll on me, the pure, raw form of love, rather being just an emotion,
it slowly shaped itself to passion, yes, my dear, you heard me right, it became passion, not the
physical you, but just the thought, that you belong to me, screaming to the world, “You are mine”,
kept me going. You may not understand this concept my love, passion, what we humans, knowingly or unknowingly relish and live for it, make us what we are, with our feet firmly rooted to the ground. Am not saying, I am no longer driven by the emotion, if you can see, the emotion is the driving factor, a need, a necessity if I should say, that has driven me to this path, a path that’s filled with passion, passion for you, passion on you, passion to be with you, path that’s is driven by love on you. Indeed, love is the preliminary emotion, though, now I am in love with the passion more than am with you, I know, it sounds absurd, but it’s the fact, I love passion where that passion is filled with you. Well am saying this loud my dear, in future, there shouldn’t be any questions between us, in case any indifference pop up, please look at this conversation, that my love is the passion and passion itself is you, so, simply put, I love you, I believe it means simple words to you, yet these words, may fail to carry the emotion or describe the anger that’s coming out of the suffering and pain I face now which are caused by my shameless admission and complete submission to you,

Never in light years my dear, never, even for once, do ask me this question again, do you still love
me? or every say you don’t love me the way you used to be! It hurts me beyond words, rather saying this, you could simply stab me in the heart and let me be free, I would gladly accept it, rather saying this, ask me to jump off the cliff, without hesitation, with no other thoughts or remorse, I would do, hoping it would make you happy.”

Unable to look into his eyes, as the wise said, eyes are the windows to heart, I can see that he was speaking his heart out, he was not tearing up, masculinity I believe, society has taken away that wonderful gift from me, “He cries like a girl”, “Why are you crying, are you a girl or what?”, he
drifted his gaze from her eyes, looked my way and then to the endless sky outside, though the glass, is reflecting his own image in shade, he kept on looking. Wondering what all it meant to me,
completely moved, I called up waiter, paid for their dinner too, raised a toast and walked off into
nothingness.

Me?

Ripples of thoughts splash my mind in silence
while I stand riveted to notions and perceptions
realization strikes me hard to accede facts
end up aligning myself with ever changing winds!

Scars from my past mistakes come to haunt me,
misguided faith, mistaking my intentions for fear
over powers my inner benign with blinding rage
struggles with will to keep those fumes in cage!

Mystical mind questioning mythical reasoning
relentlessly pursuing the vastness of being,
transgress beyond altered faiths of theology,
look deep into my reflection for answers within

Plastic screams and muffled moans of my emotions
I heed verily and to them fall prey very easily
this flesh does have desires that burns lastingly
ashamed yet satisfied I tend to them repeatedly!

Drifting dreams overlapping with life’s reality,
in state of perpetual existence I spend my days
while metaphorical world speaks to me in native
tongue, I stare at void, asking her to consume me!

Manufactured images thrown my way by illusions
I look to pry and dissect the visions pretense
for better understanding of what is beneath,
concluding increased knowledge complicate things!

 

On the hill top

At the hilltop, cool summer wind as the only audience,
look down at the world, that’s, well beneath my feet,
the arrogance of life reflecting on the endless sky,
dreamy delights of the day dreams, slowly slips by!

Cacophony of life, rambling with the ageless time,
swings wildly between points of poignancy and accuracy
longevity of the thoughts, struggles with coherence,
notions of being and living, keep coming back to me!

Clouds flowing aimlessly, caressing all the while,
echoes the notion of never belonging, constantly,
serenity in life is attached to being detached,
close my eyes, command the heart to stay still!